You ever look around and think, “Where would I be without her?”
Her — the one who makes you laugh when life gets heavy.
The one who reminds you to fix your hair and wear the outfit you actually love.
The one who watches your back so closely, she sees the threat before you do.
You might not have a dozen friends. Maybe you don’t even want that. But every woman deserves at least three:
- One who helps you feel like a woman,
- One who helps you stand like a warrior, and
- One who guards your soul like it’s their job.
I’ve been lucky enough to have all three. This is for them — and for the women reading who are one good friend away from feeling a little more like themselves.
The “GIRL” Friend – The One Who Makes You Feel Beautiful, Feminine, and Seen
Her name is Sara.
We met in high school Chemistry class, and I loved her instantly. Not in the casual “she’s cool” way. I mean I knew. This woman was made of grace, fire, perfume, and pink lip gloss. She was the walking embodiment of what it meant to be a woman — and not just any woman, but one who owned it.
When we used to get ready for a night out, I’d be showered and dressed in 20 minutes. Sara? Two and a half hours — and that didn’t include outfit changes. She didn’t need it. She was already beautiful. But she did it because she loved it. And somewhere between the curling iron, the eyelash curler, and the blasting 260-watt bulbs around her vanity, she reminded me that I was beautiful too — and that I deserved to show up like it.
To this day, I hear her voice in my head when I start to settle for “good enough.” She whispers:
“… girl … No, we can do better.”
Every woman needs a friend like that.
The one who shows you the joy in being soft. The one who reminds you that beauty isn’t about vanity — it’s about feeling like yourself. A friend who helps you fall back in love with your reflection.
The “FIREKEEPER” Friend – The One Who Helps You Speak Up and Stay Lit
This is Christina.
She came into my life as an unfriendly almost 10 years ago. Now having navigated some of the hardest times of our lives together, we joke about ‘not really liking each other at first.’ During one of the most transformative years I’ve ever had, she was strength in motion. A steady flame that doesn’t flicker, no matter how dark it gets. Fierce. Loyal. Unapologetically herself.
She’s the one who taught me that ‘No’ is a complete sentence — no explanation required. That being true to yourself isn’t something you apologize for. And that the moment you start to shrink to make others comfortable, you’ve already given too much away.
Christina is my Firekeeper.
She knows when I’m dimming myself — and won’t let me get away with it. She reminds me who I am, and who I’ve always been. And just when things get heavy, she finds a way to break the tension — usually with a wildly inappropriate joke that somehow makes everything okay for a second.
I lost her to Tennessee last year, so we don’t see each other in person much anymore. But somehow, that distance has only pulled us closer. Her support never fades. The fire never goes out.
Every woman needs a Firekeeper.
The one who keeps your spark alive when the world tries to snuff it out.
The one who tells you the truth, holds your ground with you, and guards your inner light — fiercely.
The “ARCHER” Friend – The One Who Stands Guard Over Your Soul
This is my sister Kim.
She’s not just my family. She’s my watchtower. My soul twin. My fiercest protector. She’s been on guard for me for as long as I can remember — and I never had to earn it.
Kim sees everything. She knows me better than I know myself. And even after all this time, I still manage to surprise her. She’s the kind of friend who sees the storm coming before you do — and starts boarding up the windows while you’re still saying, “Nah, I think we’re fine.”
She tells the truth. Especially when it’s hard. She’s the one who says what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. But never from a place of judgement — always from a place of love.
Every woman should have a friend like this.
Someone who watches over you. Someone who doesn’t back down. Someone who sees you unraveling and quietly starts stitching you back together.
Why These Three Archetypes Matter
You don’t need a big crowd. But you do need a solid crew.
The GIRL friend reminds you to care for yourself and celebrate your beauty.
The FIREKEEPER friend helps you hold the line and stay true to your light.
The ARCHER friend stands behind you, bow drawn, ready to protect your heart.
Each one brings out something different in you — and all of them, together, help you become whole. They challenge you. Comfort you. Call you up. And most of all, they see you.
Some women are lucky enough to find all three in one person. Most of us meet them at different times, in different seasons. Sometimes we are one of these friends for someone else — and don’t even realise it.
So maybe ask yourself:
- Which one are you right now?
- Which one are you missing?
- And what would change if you found her?
Closing Encouragement
Every woman deserves these kinds of friendships.
Ones that lift her up, call her out, and hold her close.
And if you haven’t found your GIRL, your FIREKEEPER, or your ARCHER yet — don’t worry. They’re out there. You might meet them at work, in the school pick-up line, online, or in a moment you least expect.
But here’s the real magic:
Be the kind of woman who is this friend.
Be the one who helps someone else feel beautiful.
Be the one who helps another woman light up.
Be the one who protects another soul with your life.
And just watch how the right people come rushing in.